Woman 'devastated' after boyfriend 'crossed a boundary' while she recovered from cardiac arrest in hospital
A woman was left horrified when she accidentally stumbled upon her boyfriend's search history on the iPad she was borrowing from him to keep her entertained while she was in hospital
A woman was devastated after finding out what her boyfriend had been up to in secret – especially as it was when she'd had a cardiac arrest and was in hospital recovering.
She felt like she'd "lived a year's worth of EastEnders plot threads in the last three weeks," sharing that she "was in hospital recovering from a cardiac arrest and major surgery to have an ICD fitted" and her partner had "loaned" her his iPad so she could watch Netflix to prevent her getting bored.
She was looking for a link in her search history on the iPad, and lo and behold, her partner's phone's search history was linked to the device she had in her hands, too. What she saw opened her eyes.
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"Is it unreasonable of me to end the relationship because I caught my boyfriend being prolific on sex hook-up sites (gay, swinging, all genders)?", she asked people on Mumsnet.
When the recovering woman saw what her boyfriend had been up to, she knew she needed to confront him when she was better. She penned: "I felt instantly unsafe; we'd had conversations about this sort of thing, he was well aware of my boundaries, and he'd been explicit in sharing that he would not be into that at all.
"I obviously didn't confront him at the time because I was going through procedures, but when I returned home from the hospital and gathered myself, I confronted him about it. He claimed it was a 'hobby' that he'd got obsessed over, and he was merely messaging the most obscene things to see what reaction he'd get.
"He said that he had no intention of 'cheating' and that we should work through it because he has strong feelings. I sent a polite message explaining that he'd crossed a boundary and I would not be entertaining that kind of behaviour."
The boyfriend insisted he hadn't "lied or cheated" – and also messaged about how kind and generous he's been ever since she was in hospital. However, people in the comments section saw straight through these excuses.
One said: "You can end a relationship at any time and for any reason. This seems to be a very good reason. You are in no way unreasonable, and I agree he's deflecting. He did also lie, crossed your stated boundary and is minimising and not taking accountability for his actions."
And another wrote: "He knew your boundaries and went on the sites anyway. I'd get rid of him and focus on yourself. I hope you're feeling better after your stay in hospital."
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